Squirrel.

Roost Squirrel Light.
$125

This light fixture came in a couple of weeks ago and has been a big hit. He's great at giving off a dusty glow but he's probably not suitable for reading. He's also pro-Obama so if that's bothersome I would perhaps resist the urge to run down here and get one.

When I was little I always wanted a squirrel as a pet. I compromised by getting many small rodent-esque animals. I was the proud owner of the longest living guinea pig ever - Tinkerbell, who lived to the grand old age of nine. Yes NINE. Guinea pigs normally have a shelf life of about 3 years. Tinkerbell was superhuman (superguineapig?) and outlasted her colleagues Wendy and Tigerlily by many many years. I also had Oliver The Black Rabbit who suffered an untimely demise when he was eaten by my dog Jasper. When I moved away to university I continued my small rodent fascination with William & Charlie Surprise - my two gerbils. William was very sociable and would come to lectures with me. He was small enough to curl up in my clavicle and sleep while I learnt about the social policies of Pericles.

I have since learnt that squirrels are vicious and vindictive. They live in the walnut tree in my garden and they bombard whoever is in the garden with sharp remnants of dissected walnut shells. This is no random occurence - many visitors to my garden have noted that even if they move positions to avoid the onslaught of piercing shell shards, the squirrels move too. They also make a lot of noise. They incessantly chatter to one another in high pitched yips and yaps. I no longer want one for a pet.